I have made several attempts to write all week, in fact I finally I thought I completed the post and then for some reason the computer had a mind of its own and did not publish the post and lost the data. Quite frustrating, but in the scheme of things it’s ok! I’ll rewrite.
As many of you know we have been in the hospital since July 4. Benny was admitted for a fever which only lasted for 24 hours, but because his blood counts were very low we couldn’t go home. B”H yesterday afternoon they climbed enough to allow Benny to be discharged. We are home for Shabbos.
June 10, 2012
I have not been able to write for a few days because Benny has not being feeling so well. Thank G-D today he is happy and beginning to get his appetite back a little. We are also fortunate to have some close friends visiting from out of town who are right now taking Benny for a walk so I can get some rest. However, I am using this time to do some catch up!
It has been a week since we are in the hospital. This is supposed to be an off week from this place. What we have come to learn very quickly is that there is no “supposed to.” As the saying goes “man plans, G-D laughs.”
Last Friday was quite a stressful day. It was going on day #3 in isolation. Benny was crying to get out. By morning, Benny had cleared all tests that indicated he would have to be isolated, but the restriction still was not lifted due to human error – beyond frustrating. It was only after I spoke to my sister, Julie and she said “Hashem wants you inside the room at this time, maybe someone else walking the halls with something that can harm Benny.” She also said not too worry about not being able to see outside because our view was blocked by a wall, Hashem doesn’t want us distracted by the external. We should just concentrate on what’s inside. At that point I felt a tremendous weight lifted and didn’t fight the isolation anymore. I felt deep down that this is exactly where Hashem wants us to be at this time and it is Hashem who decides when when we leave the room. It was only after that feeling of Hashem is in charge not me nor the nurses or dr.’s that things reversed. The nurse came into the room within 45 minutes with news that the ban was lifted and Benny was free to leave his room. It was about an hour before Shabbos. It was definitely a big sigh of relief and sheer happiness.
Soon after we brought in the Shabbos with a blessing on the lights, as we aren’t allowed to light candles in the hospital, Benny began to whine for something. We was pointing to something across the room. After asking him if it was this or that, we finally were to figure out what he wanted. He wanted the grape juice and Kiddush cup. He wanted Ari to make Kiddush. As we were singing Shalom Alechem Benny began pointing for something again. He was looking for the Challah. I showed him the Challah was already on the table covered by a towel (unfortunately, we did not have a Challah cover with us). After Kiddush which Benny wouldn’t drink( maybe because his mouth sore still bothered him), we washed his hands for Hamotzee (challah). After saying the blessing over the Challah (bread), Benny began to eat and eat. He ate 1/4 of the Challah. It was amazing. I said to Ari it is because of all those women who partook in the Mitzvah of Hafroshas Challah in Benny’s Zechus that this is going to be that first food he eats. Next week maybe we will have to get the men to press the grapes for wine and Benny will drink Kiddush. Following the meal we took a walk in the halls and met up with Benny’s friend Yaakov. We sang Shabbos Zemiros in the family lounge for over an hour. Benny was clapping and dancing.
Shabbos day, we were blessed with a wonderful nurse, Rachel, to care for Benny. She wanted to know about the Sabbath and even ate some Challah. She told us that when she was a little girl, she used to go to the JCC camp Later that afternoon a room on the other side of the hospital opened up . A room with a view. The first room we were in when we were first admitted (2 months prior). The room with the eagle above (a story for a later date). If we were to wait to move until after the Shabbos, it was possible the room would no longer be available and a change in shift of nurses as well. After speaking with the Rabbi next door (father of Yaakov) and getting the OK to move, Rachel put all of our belonging on the bed, wheeled the bed out of the room, down the hall in to our new room. Benny’s eyes immediately lit up and he ran to look out the window. He remembered seeing the airplanes, helicopters and his favorite – the moonrise. I have to say, my face lit up as well.
The following days were a waiting game. Waiting and waiting for Benny’s blood counts to rise. The first indication of some movement was on Wednesday morning. But not nearly enough. Then Thursday the counts jumped some more. Very close to the number we needed to reach to go home. Assuring the Dr. that Benny would do so much better at home with his brothers, the Dr. was comfortable with sending us home later that day.
I have to say, Benny regained all of his energy and is full of Simcha going into this Shabbos.
We are so grateful for all your Tefillos (prayers) and Zechusim this past week that really made a huge difference in Benny’s very difficult 4th cycle of chemo. May your Tefillos continue to storm the Gates of Heaven and give Benny and all those in need, a Refuah!
We are also so thankful for two very special visitors Estee and Ette that came from back east to be M’vaker Choleh (visit the sick). They brought tremendous Simcha (joy) and positive energy and helped Benny regain his strength so he could go home early.