Cry no more…or so we thought

There is so much to write about. Not sure if I’ll get to it all. The hour is late!

Fridays post, Erev Shabbos we were thrilled to update all of you that we were able to go home and be with our family for Shabbos.  We had a wonderful Shabbos dinner and Shabbos lunch with the kids.  We even got in a Shabbos afternoon nap B”H.

It wasn’t until we woke up, did we find that Benny was running a fever and noticed an infection at the site of his epidural (administered during his surgery last Wednesday).  22 hours after we came home we headed back to the ER.  We spent the rest of Shabbos and all of Motzei Shabbos (Saturday night) in the ER.

Just when we thought we could cry no more… we were inconsolable or at least I was!   It was just a few days prior we received encouraging news from the surgeon that Benny made great progress on his road to recovery. We were on a high. Then Saturday night, those feelings came crashing down.  Now we were faced with an infection by the epidural site. The doctor that administered the epidural could not give us any answers. He out right said, he never saw an infection at an epidural site before. Well that didn’t make us feel very good nor confident in the doctors care. We didn’t know, nor did the doctor, how much time we had to find out if the infection was superficial right under the skin or deep near the spine.  After hours of pleading (with the hierarchy) to move for an emergency MRI to see where the infection was, we were booked for a 1:30 am MRI.  The MRI team had to be called in from home.  It was eerie being the only patient in and around the MRI department. Not a soul could be seen other than a security guard and the MRI team. The MRI lasted a long and painful hour.  An hour full of tears, pleas to all we could reach to daven (pray), and utter despair. How could this be happening?  Benny was doing so well B”H, and then we were once again challenged with this. The feelings of fright do not justify the long stressful hours we endured.

About 3 am we were given a preliminary report that B”H the infection was contained to the surface of the skin. Needles to say, it was another “all nighter”.

So today, as I reflect back on the last 36 hours, I think of the light that we worked so hard to reach these past few months, only to have it temporary dimmed over the last 36 hours. B”H it was a very painfully short time period that we had to endure.  I began to think about the light in the world, the daylight  and nightlight. The sun is bright as can be. It lights up the sky, and our homes. But so is the moon. It is just a different light. It may not fill all our rooms with full light, but  it is never completely dark either.   And so even in what may seem the darkest of times, there is always a light somewhere to be found. B”H with the help of all your Tefillos and continued Zechusim we are able once again to find the light.




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