Can you feel the pain? Can you feel the joy?

B”H, Thank G-D we are happy to report to you that Benny and our family have been enjoying being at home over the past couple of weeks. Benny was able to go to shul (synagogue) this past Shabbos (the Sabbath) and shake people’s hands Shalom Aleichem and Good Shabbos. He loves Shabbos and loves to share that feeling with others.

I was also able to once again be blessed with the privilege of being home on Friday and having the ability to bake Challah with a Bracha (blessing) for a Zechus (merit) for Benny and many other Cholim (sick people).   We were even lucky to be blessed with Orchim (guests) at the very last minute, who’s flight was cancelled due to bad weather back east.  As I’ve mentioned before, not being able to have company has been one of the more difficult side effects.  Most Shabbosim have either been after treatments when it is too risky for Benny to be around others’ or we have been in the hospital.

B”H Benny is quite strong, and his strength is quite prominent when we try and and seat him in his stroller or car seat. Neither of which he likes to sit in. He puts up quite a fight, to the point that he actually broke the metal frame to his stroller a few weeks ago.  Luckily a dear cousin didn’t need her stroller anymore and found a new home to give it too.  Some of the time he will walk, but most of the time he wants to be held. For a few minutes, it’s OK, but when minutes turn into hours, it becomes painful on my feet and back.  I am torn hearing him cry and scream or give in and hold him.  Holding him in the car while my husband is driving is nothing short of ideal either. What is one to do? We ask ourselves. Hear him cry and squirm like Houdini to try and get out of his car seat!  An attempt that he was actually successful at, once. Fascinating to see!  or hold him in the back seat on my lap buckled into a seat belt?   I just think to myself B”H he is so strong and is just strengthening his muscles every time he puts up a fight. May he continue to fight with Hashem’s (G-D’s) help and overcome any obstacles that may cross his path.

Last week was a bit of an emotional roller coaster. B”H not because of Benny, but emotional none the less. The week began with phone call from a close relative notifying us of an emergency surgery scheduled to remove something foreign in his body. The dr.’s were not sure of the outcome before they went into surgery. B”H a Nes (miracle) took place and this relative was saved from the pains of a long and scary recovery. He already has begun to resume his “normal” daily life. However, after going thru this scare his life will have a new  “normal,” and that is being grateful to Hashem to be alive every minute of every day.

The following day, we received news of a father that was less than fortunate, who’s life was not spared. After a long car trip home from his future son-in- laws Uff Ruf (a celebration  for the groom on the Sabbath before his wedding), the father wanted to learn before he went to sleep for the night. Unfortunately, during his learning, this father died of a heart attack on his couch with his Sefer (Holy Book)  in his hands. I cannot stop crying and praying for this family, for the bride who is getting married tonight without her father walking her down her aisle, for the mother who is left alone to raise her 8 children. May Hashem bless this family with comfort and may they know of no more sorrow.

Today, as I took Benny out, wearing his “Team Benny” hat,  with his 9 year old brother Yehoshua, I was approached by a woman asking me if this is the Benny everyone is praying for. I said yes. At that moment, the pain I’ve been feeling deep inside vanished. Instead, I felt the deep connection we all have with one another. Knowing the pain we have is shared by so many diminishes our pain and replaces it with hope.  This hope gives us the ability to wake up each day with a smile, with energy from the  fuel of thousands and Tefillos (prayers) and Zechusim (merits) being done on a daily basis.

As I am concluding this evenings blog, I have come to realization, when we feel each other’s pain, the pain diminishes. When we feel each others happiness, it increases. Let us use our energy to put an end to the pain and suffering and fill the world with joy and happiness.  A good start is to greet someone with a “good morning,”  as Benny likes to say when he passes people in the street “Hi!” It brings a smile and joy to the world.







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