Accounting 101

I don’t remember how many summer’s ago it was that I took Accounting 101 in college,  but one thing I do remember learning is how to balance a check book.  Unfortunately, those balancing skills don’t help me today when trying to balance and juggle 6 children’s lives who are now directly effected by this horrible illness. No matter what we decide, it just doesn’t seem to measure up.

Right now, I sit awake trying to decide what is best for our children.  Next week we are IY”H going to Philadelphia with Benny for treatment. Unfortunately, the CHLA (children’s hospital of LA) is not equipped for this treatment.  The dilemma we face is not the course of treatment B”H, this is part of the treatment plan.  What they (dr.’s) don’t tell you is a plan that will work for the kids left behind. Who should they stay with? For how long? Should we take them with us and make arrangements for them back east? Where will they feel most comfortable? Least homesick? As I am writing this update, my 9 year old son is sleeping next to me because he is worried about us leaving him next week.  He told me he rather stay home than go to a friend because he will be less homesick. These are the decisions that bring me to tears. We don’t Chas Veshalom (G-D Forbid) want to do something that may cause them additional stress. On the other hand, is taking them going to be more stressful.

We have been very fortunate to be on the receiving end of such generous offers from people asking how they can help out. Offering to watch our kids here for the week, or take them on the plane and bring them out to us later in the week. We feel fortunate to be in the presence of such special people, but at the same time unfortunate to be in the position to have to accept their generosity.

That brings me to the next struggle we  battle with. When to say “yes” and “thank you” or when not to accept. When we do say yes it is with the utmost sincere intentions. We are so very grateful for the invites my boys get to play by friends, knowing that their friends can’t play by our house because of germs. Or when a friend will call and ask what she can pick up from the grocery. Or what can she cook for Shabbos, etc.  The list is too long and the hour is too late to name them all.

Life was so much simpler when the decisions of the day was what to make for dinner? When should I schedule the kids to go the the dentist? Who can we invite for a Shabbos meal? If it could just be as straightforward as balancing a check book!  But as we all know, Hashem brings us challenges and the solutions are not always black and white.  It’s not necessarily about solving the problem, but HOW you go about trying to solve it. WHO are going to be the tools to help? IY”H with the new month of Elul approaching, Hashem will be  close by, among all of Klal Yisroel and provide us the clarity we need to get thru the equation!



2 thoughts on “Accounting 101

  1. Dear Faigie~

    You are such an eloquent writer. It is always so heartfelt. I hope you can figure out how to balance this checkbook. I’m fairly certain that the funds (whether it be friends or family) to help out will become clearer. Such a dilemma of what to do though when there are schedules to keep in two very different places and not enough of you to go around. I’m praying that all of your children can feel at ease with what lies ahead if they are supposed to go back East with you or stay home with friends on the West coast. Life has really changed for all of you and it seems that there is still some getting used to this “new normal”. Doesn’t feel very normal at all which I can see too. I will be praying for you that it will all become clearer very soon. Just know, you are doing an amazing job with this incredible juggling act that you’ve been given.

    Much love to your whole family!!

  2. First, i want to thank you for posting as often as you can. every day i check the website (multiple times) to see how Benny is. I’m sure it is very hard to get to write.
    Also, i was at a friends house a few nights ago and as we were both about to daven mincha i told her Benny’s name and she said to me “how do you know that name? in camp our entire camp got bracelets for him and everyone in the camp (campers and staff) is davening for him!” This made me so happy and iyh Benny should have a Mehayra Refuah Shelaima!

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