B’Somim Spices

(this post is written over two days)

It’s Feb 7th, 10 pm and we are on the plane going home. At this point not only my fingers are numb, so are my feet, bones and most of all my emotions.  I am not quite sure that I will be able to finish this post in such a short time (5 plus hours), but I will give it a try.

There is no way to adequately give over what the Feder family is going thru, what the entire community of Passaic/Clifton are experiencing, and what my family is enduring.  The shock is real, but at the same time not to be believed.

I’ll start off by giving an update.  Refael Yoel Ozer is critical but stable condition.  The pressure in his head has decreased slightly B”H and his blood pressure is going down as well. There is still significant swelling and continuous drainage.  We won’t know much more until he is taken out of his induced coma, which can only occur when the swelling dramatically goes down.

Last night I finished the post well after 3 am and could not fall asleep until closer to 4.  Way too much to process!

This morning I received a phone call to speak in the local girls high school.  I declined multiple times. I was only here for a precious few hours and I wanted to spend every moment at the hospital.  But for some reason an hour later I was addressing the seniors about our situation today and the power we have to help.

As of 3 days ago, I never just got up and addressed of hundreds of people speaking about change.  I am still playing back to how it all happened and what possessed me to get up without even being asked.

Tuesday night, I heard an amazing lecture  by a woman, Mrs. Chavie Bauman. She was basically saying that change is uncomfortable.  It’s uncomfortable to change outside of your comfort zone.

Feb. 8,  11 am  Erev Shabbos

Unfortunately, the my computer ran out of power after only 45 minutes.   It turned into a very long flight.   I couldn’t sleep, and had no interest in doing all those things you do on planes, read magazines or watch movies. Instead I just cried and cried and cried some more.

Then after about an hour I see a tall man in his early 30’s standing by the lavatories doing the most interesting stretches.   Being that I was so tense myself and felt pains all over, I began to study the exercises.  At that point I just had to get up, go over to him and ask him if those were Yoga exercises.  He told me no, and that he was in a car accident (not even sure how long ago) and this Chinese acupuncturist gave him these exercises to help with the pain in his shoulders and back.   I thanked him. He asked me if everything was ok.   I think he may be sorry he asked that question, because the flight just got an hour longer for him, but shorter for me!  I answered no!

I told him all about the last 48 hours….having now two children on opposite ends of the country fighting to live…He asked me my son’s name.  Another mistake on his part (added additional time)….I told him all about Benny and his namesake (that took about 30 minutes alone.  He said he would pray for Benny and Yoel.  Then I asked him his name.  He said Efraim.  I froze for a moment!  Then continued the conversation asked if he was coming to visit family.  He said he was coming to celebrate his friend’s birthday, his friend’s name, is “Benny.”  Again, I froze.   I then asked if it was a big birthday. He said “32.” I said “a party for 32? Not like 25, 30 or 40, 32 a party. Interesting!.”  He then said, “32 is Lev (heart)”.   Once again, I froze.

I apologized for chewing off his ear and thanked him for being so kind to listen to my many stories. He in turn thanked me and told me that he was really moved and got him thinking. I gave him Benny’s website address if he wants to follow and become a Team member. I hope he does.  The END.   Although, who knows, it may be just the beginning.

A few weeks ago we went to the Torah M’sora convention. One of the speakers spoke about the B’samim (spices) in our lives.  When Yosef was sold he was sold to a spice merchant.  It was Hashem’s way of saying that even though things are difficult, Hashem is going to be with you every step of the way.

Life is filled with difficult challenges, but they are also filled with spices. We have to do our best to look for them and smell them along the way.  The smells of the spices, especially B’Samim can revive the Nefesh & body simultaneously.

This past week has been one of the most frightening rollercoasters rides ever built. But at the same time, Hashem sent the B’Somim.  Bumping into Rabbi Feder before we even got to the hospital, and ending the trip with meeting Efraim on the plane who is going to pray for Benny and Yoel.

I wish you all a Good Shabbos and when you make a Bracha on the B’somim this Motzei Shabbos, have in mind that Hashem should continue to send B’Somim your way and that you are able to see it when it arrives.

Please have in mind baby Yoel as you learn, daven and do all those activities that are required by the brain.  Those same activities that IY”H Yoel will be able to do when he comes out of the coma IY”H. May Hashem give him a complete Refuah Shlema Min Hashomayim without any side effects.

This coming Sunday evening we head back to the hospital to begin Benny’s final phase of treatments IY”H.   This next phase, if all goes well is a 5 month plan. I will go into further detail next week. Please continue to have him in your Tefillos, that this next phase is successful IY”H without any side effects.

Good Shabbos!

2 thoughts on “B’Somim Spices

  1. I just wanted to thank you for having the strength to do what you did. I’m sure it wasn’t easy to get up in front of hundreds of women and speak. And I’m sure it wasn’t easy to come to my school and speak to my class (the seniors of Bais Yaakov of Passaic) when all you wanted to do was to spend precious time with the Feders. But you did it anyways. I want to let you know that you made a difference. When you finished speaking I made a decision to take concrete action. I decided I would cut three inches off my very long hair which I so badly didn’t want to cut. I did it as soon as I possibly could so that I wouldn’t change my mind. It’s done now. The three inches are off and I have a good feeling, knowing that I did something for the zechus of 2 little boys I so badly want to help: Benny & Yoel. Thank you.

    • Thank you for bringing goodness into the world. You are strong and courageous and I feel privileged to have had the honor to speak before your class. I am just a simple mother who will do anything in my power to help save my son and Michelle’s son and all the cholim in Klal Yisroel. I have learned over the course of the year that we really do have the ability to change the matzav we are in, thru our Emunah and most of all actions.
      Thank you for being a team player and signing on to help in these precious little boys Refuah process. I am forever grateful.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *