Trying to get caught up on the blog…not an easy task. Benny has been running a fever off and on since late yesterday afternoon, throughout the night and into today. He doesn’t like taking his medicine, but B”H cooperates for the most part. Aside from Tyelonal and pain medication, we have tried ice packs to help bring the fever down. Being that he doesn’t like the ice packs, we mostly just have to sit beside him and keep him calm and relaxed.
There was a moment last night that my eyes just swelled up. It was when Benny took hold of my hand and squeezed it and didn’t let go. He maintained this position for over an hour. It was the first time he held my hand without being prompted by me. It was such an amazing feeling. I cried. I cried because all I can think of is the picture of my friend Michelle, holding her baby Yoel’s hand, squeezing his hand tight and praying for a response in return. It is not by coincidence that we are in the hospital at opposite ends of the country at the same time with our son’s that are of the same age. I know that the big picture is beyond our scope, but I feel compelled that I must take action.
I have showed Benny the beautiful picture of baby Yoel and the not so pretty picture of him now. Benny knows to look sad and even make sounds of trying to cry when he see’s him hooked up to machines. We then daven together. Benny insists on holding his own Tehillim and moves his lips as he turns the pages. I can’t imagine a more meaningful davening then one two year old in need of his own refuah praying for another.
Refael Yoel Ozer is in need of all of our prayers. Speaking with Michelle earlier brings back feelings I never want to relive. The week that Benny was diagnosed but had not yet begun treatment was grueling. If only he would be able to start his healing process, I would be able to even think about breathing again. Baby Yoel is currently in a critical state. The doctors were hoping by now to be able to begin the removal of certain machines. They made several attempts to clamp the shunt, but the pressure builds in his head and it is too dangerous for the brain. The doctors don’t want to leave the shunt in too long either because they are worried about an infection Chas Veshalom. The same goes with the ventilator. The doctors will most likely put in a tracheotomy because having him on a ventilator for a long period of time is not good either. Michellle and Avi know and are trying to mentally prepare to battle this thru this long journey ahead of them, but they need to be able to start the journey of Refuah already. This in limbo is excruciating!
This past week I have done things that I never thought were in me to do. I feel like I am at the scene of this horrific car accident and Hashem has given me the strength to lift the car off this child, to help save his life. It has been almost 10 days and I am still holding up the car. My hands and arms are weary and I am running out of strength. I need help! We all need to reach out and hold up this car together. It is not enough for three, four, five or six, we need thousands and millions of people to help.
It became clear to me this week why Benny was given this specific cancer to battle and win. The cancer that Benny “had” IY”H, affected his sympathetic nervous system. Which ultimately controls a person’s adrenaline. B”H Benny’s adrenaline has not been affected in the negative, not for one moment. It actually had the opposite affect. Not only is Benny active and vivacious, thru his Zechus, family, friends and complete strangers have become active. There is a surge of adrenaline that has overtaken communities world wide.
Last week, when I got the news about baby Yoel and details began to unfold, I realized that we had to use press down full throttle to do everything in our power to help. Baby Yoel has suffered a severe head trauma, and it is a true miracle that he is alive. The head/brain represent the wisdom of a person. It controls the body’s functions. There are two babies on opposite ends of the country each representing parts of us that require action. We know with our minds what we have to do, we have to act with our adrenaline to put it into action.
I would like to share with you what has transpired this past week. I will post it as it’s own post though. It is lengthy and continues to change day by day.