It’s Hard to Believe

Benny is a few minutes away from completing his second day of a very long treatment. We are grateful that so far,B”H, he has been handling this round of treatment quite well. Other than a few rashes, he does not have fever Bli Ayin Horah, and for the most part, is in a great mood.

Benny had a few special visitors today; “Aunt” Shoshie played games, cousin Yechiel fed him ice cream, sister’s Yocheved and Rifka Basya cheered him up, friend Yaeli brought doughnuts and Bubbie and Zaida came to kiss him goodnight with chocolate chip cookies.

As I lay here with Benny, as he sleeps peacefully next to me, I can’t help but wonder, is this really the plan G-D had for him at the age of 2?!  He is hooked up to so many tubes, all for the purpose of helping him. I know these tubes aren’t filled with broccoli or cauliflower puree either!  It’s hard to believe these medications are good for him. When my mind begins to stray, I stop myself and say, “no Faigie, just imagine, these drips are filled with Mtizvos and Tefillos that were liquefied.” Sometimes,  It’s really the only way to make it thru the day.

Just about every time I ride the elevators in the hospital, either going up to the room or down to the ground level, I look around at the other riders, mostly parents and some doctors. Everyone wearing a different badge with a different floor marked on the badge. One floor of the hospital cares for cardiac patients, while another is the PICU (intensive care unit), and the list goes on. Again, I find myself engrossed in a conversation with myself, asking, “if I had a choice, which floor would I pick to get off at?” And then, the elevator stalls, giving me a second to decide. A second isn’t enough time and before I know it, the elevator doors on the forth floor open. Next stop, Oncology!  I am left with one choice and one choice only, to choose the One who knows best.  Hashem (G-D) knows, so Hashem chooses… and here we are!

True, we cannot always choose the floor, but we can choose how to walk the floor. We chose not to walk it alone. Thank you for wanting to pace the corridors with us and ensuring our safety throughout our stay.

picture taken at LegoLand Chol Hamoed Pesach

“I’d rather be playing ball today!”

3 thoughts on “It’s Hard to Believe

  1. Dear Faigie,

    This week will I”H be a good one for Benny, with healing and refuah the only things to happen.
    Only wonderful visitors should come thru that door, no mean nurses!
    You should be able to continue to find strength in yourself, and grow in positive ways.
    Remember, your face will never be on a milk carton! Too many people are rooting for you!!!

    Love Abby

    • Thank you! We especially love our international cheering squad.
      BH the nurses have been great this week and have all become Team Benny members

  2. WE are continuing to daven with a lot of kavanah for Benny. Your emunah is inspirational. we have to believe that Ha-shem has a plan and that HE loves us. Be strong and may we be zoche to hear bsorot tovot.
    zisi and Ronnie Wachsberg

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *