It’s been too long since I’ve had a chance to update. Not for lack of trying. I am not sure when times are more exhausting, being at the hospital all day and night for a week at a time, or trying to get caught up on life when we aren’t in the hospital. This past week I would say it’s the later.
Ever since I took Benny to the trains and horses, he’s been asking to go back. However, I did have other mundane chores to do, which he was not in favor of and would protest at each one. One protest resulted of him pulling off the dressing (bandage) which covers his central line. This must be covered at all times to prevent infection and is changed once a week under sterile conditions. I was driving at the time and had to make sure he didn’t touch the exposed site. Once I arrived home, I had my first shot at changing his dressing. Ari had been doing this medical duty weekly, but last week was my turn. B”H I managed just fine and accomplished what needed to be done.
Benny has been growing B”H in all areas; verbally, physically, his hair and his personality. The past few days he’s been doing a good job of testing “his limits,” and reaching mine. Maybe that’s the reason why I’ve been so tired.
The weeks we are at home, I like to take Benny on field trips and invite company for Shabbos. Benny is usually involved in all the preparations which include, shopping for groceries, cooking and baking, setting the table etc. This involvement generally slows the process down to more than double the amount of time. I really hope his wife (IY”H one day) will appreciate his training from a very young age.
“Do you know the muffin man?”
This past Friday, I didn’t have time to post, because I spent too much time in the kitchen, to the point where some things got overdone or burnt. Then, Motzei Shabbos I was too tired from all the company. Last night, I had a school function and when I came home, I spent one hour looking for my engagement ring. As I was moving Benny out of my bed into his crib, which is on rare occasion, I spotted the ring under the covers B”H.
I know it’s common to misplace things, glasses, pens, wallet, keys etc., it’s very frustrating at times. Feels like a complete waste of time looking for it. Last night, as tired as I was, I wanted to post, but ended up looking for my ring. The truth is, I believe I misplaced the ring when I was putting on gloves, to once again change Benny’s dressing after it got wet from dipping his feet in the pool and playing with the water. My mind was preoccupied on something else, so I didn’t remember to put the ring back on, and by the time I did, I couldn’t remember where I misplaced it.
This past Shabbos, the 11th day of Iyar, was my Bubbie (wife of Zaida Ben) 19th Yartzheit. Bubbie Jean, as she was well known, was one of the strongest woman I have ever known. I learned so much from her. How to host guests, to make sure they have all their needs and never want to leave, how to raise money or get volunteers for a worthy cause, how to sew, how to make Rice Krispy treats, how to play cards (she was a champ at War), how to grow a garden and make jam from the homegrown berries, or sautéed squash from the homegrown zucchini. She knew the names of all flowers, and most of all, she knew everything going on in the family. She kept the family informed about one another. Her home was immaculate, yet, was always filled with guests (mostly strangers) and grandchildren. She allowed us to go thru her boxes of old clothes and put on parades and performances. She spent hours on Shabbos playing Rummy Kub with us and Boogle on Motzei Shabbos. When coming to visit my Bubbie, the first thing I would do is, open the freezer to look for her famous chocolate chip cookies and Rice Krispy treats. It was a debate which one to eat first. One thing she could never teach me is how to kill a spider. Bubbie was fearless. Especially, the time when she scared off a prowler in her home in the middle of the night, just by shouting at him to get out of here! Boy did he run!
Bubbie Jean was a true Eishes Chayil (woman of valor) in every sense of the word. She adored Zaida Ben and together they both had the qualities to build a beautiful family and an entire community in Seattle, close to 60 years. As my cousin Pircha wrote, so eloquently in an email I received earlier today describing Bubby, she spoke of what her beloved father Yehoshua Abermoff O”H (the only son in law) used to say, “Ayalah (his wife), you are amazing, but your mother – she is L’mala min Hateva.” I think the key to Bubbie’s success as a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a friend was her listening ability. She knew when to remain quiet and when and give advice. She was everyone’s best friend, and of course we each were her “favorite.”
I look forward to Benny IYH one day, choosing his Aishes Chayil (woman of valor) to be just like my grandmother (ok so she doesn’t have to kill spiders or grow tomatoes).
Yesterday afternoon, Benny had a wonderful day with his Bubbie and Zaida “swimming” in their pool. True Benny can’t go swimming yet, because of his central lines, Zaida made sure to hold his body high enough out of the water to avoid getting it wet, yet made sure Benny felt like he was in the pool, at least kicking with his feet. I can’t wait until he can splash and splash and feel the water up to his shoulders. I am so grateful that Benny is able to build a close relationship with his Zaida and Bubbie and IY”H he too will learn the valuable lessons of life. B”H Benny got a good start in life learning from his wonderful Babbie in NY before we moved out the LA. . IY”H may he continue to be blessed and learn from his grandparents for 120 years.
Today, I wasn’t able to venture out to the trains, but did take Benny on the trolley at the Grove (an outdoor shopping mall). While riding the trolley he made a friend, Isaac and right away hit it off. The two of them conversed about “life” of a two and three year old. Life was good at the moment B”H. Benny learns quick too. Tonight, I took him for a walk to pick up a few apples at the grocery and when the cashier asked Benny how old he was, he quickly responded three (just like Isaac). I tried correcting Benny and said two, but he insisted three. He goes around saying he’s a “big boy.” It’s so cute to hear.
watch video of Benny on the trolley
This coming Wednesday, we go into the hospital for an injection thru his central line as a precursor for scans on Thursday. This will be done outpatient. We can only hope and continue to pray that this disease is gone, gone, gone and never to return.
Last week we had the privilege of some very special visitors, from near and far.
Rabbi Shmuel Dishon, a world renown Rabbi/speaker and our first cousin too came to give Benny a Bracha and tell Benny stories of his great grandfather.
Video of a Bracha from rabbidishon
Penny for Benny – The day after I posted a Penny for Benny, I was fortunate to find a penny on the sidewalk while out on a walk. Normally, I wouldn’t have picked it up, but this time I did, and look who put it in the Tzedaka Box while singing Tzedaka, tzedaka Tazil Me Ma’ves… (charity saves from death).