The Feeling of Despair

Yesterday, I woke up feeling really lousy.  I thought it was due to lack of sleep.  It was, but, the exhaustion is not from getting two kids off to camp, it is from hearing about yet another diagnosis of cancer this week, in a young 10 year old boy from Passaic, NJ.  The first email that circulated was to Daven for Daniel Reuven ben Rifka Kayla. I did not know any details. Then a day later, another email went out saying that the family is appreciative of all the outpour of help, but needs their privacy at the moment, and until there is a diagnosis, our Tefillos are of utmost importance. Then today, I received an email from a friend asking me to Daven for a close friend of hers, Daniel Reuven ben Rifka Kayla.  That, maybe Hashem will listen to my Tefillos. I wrote back to this friend, that I already sent an email to Daniel Reuven’s parents offering support in whatever way possible. Unfortunately, I know all to well their pain, their grief, their feeling of despair at this moment in time.

As I sat down to Daven today, my son’s Benny and Joey were in the room. I couldn’t begin. I just sat and wept.  Benny at first thought it was funny and then he came over and wiped away my tears. I looked at him and cried some more. I looked at his new beautiful golden hair and felt so grateful that we made it to this point B”H. Although, we have completed the treatments in the hospital, we have one more round of oral treatments at home in about another week. Then we have scans. We have begun to live our lives as normal as possible going on the notion that IY”H the scans next month will indicate that we are done with treatment.  However, it is getting harder to continue flushing his lines every day, covering his lines for his bath with plastic every day. We just want it to be over already.

So now, after hearing about another family that has entered a new life of “no normalcy”  the pain has resurfaced. Unfortunately, we get so many emails asking for our prayers.  What are we to do? We are to take them to heart. We are to feel their pain. We are to beg Hakodosh Baruchu (Hashem) to stop bringing this plague on our children, on our loved ones. We Chas Veshalom (G-D Forbid) don’t want to be the next one sending out an email requesting our Bakoshos (plead) to Daven for our loved one.

Last night, I received another email stating that Bracha Sara Chaya bas Ronit Nava Tehilla is unconscious and there will be a gathering of Tehillim at 8 pm. Bracha is 16 years old battling the same cancer Benny is fighting .  Now is she living in Israel, but last year this time we spent  multiple Shabbosim  in CHLA hospital together. One Shabbos that was very meaningful was when Auntie Shira stayed with Benny and I for Shabbos.  We all (Bracha, her mother and sister) ate Shalosh Seudos together, sang and laughed a lot. Bracha loved having Shira around and felt so good around her.

This morning I took out the mixer to make Challah for Shabbos (even though the freezer is full of Challah). Benny insisted on helping.  I am baking Challah so I can make the special Bracha of Hafrashos Challah that has so much power in all areas of life.  B”H now that we are home and have the opportunity, I don’t want to miss it.  If Challah is not your thing, there are plenty of other Mitzvos to do. The key is DO!!!  We need to help each other. We need to lighten the burden of those going thru the enormous challenges they are faced with.   Every Tefillah, every Mitzvah, any change taken on, helps remove the feelings of despair and brings Refuah IY”H.

Bringing in Shabbos 10 minutes early and using the time to say Tehillim is extremely powerful .

Here is a list of children that need our Tefillos that I personally know battling this Magefa (plague):

Daniel Reuven ben Rifka Kayla (10 years old)

Elimelech ben Basya (8 years old)

Chaya Mushka bas Hadassa Shaina (10 years old)

Bracha Sara Chaya bas Ronit Nava Tehilla (16 years old)

Binyomin Chaim ben Faigie Sarah (2 years old)

and our miracle baby Rafael Yoel Ozer ben Chaya Malka, who needs our Tefillos for a complete healing of his skull and eye.

IY”H this coming Shabbos will be bring Refuah to all those in need and the Geula Bmheira B’Yomeinu. Amein.


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